Day 22 In the Mad Mad Mad World of "Coming Down"

"It Will Be All Better in the Morning"

Today I was alone as hubby returned to work after the weekend. I slept in a bit and since I work at home that's okay for me to do but others "coming off of Effexor" would probably want to take this 3rd day without it... Off from work.

I really felt like a zombie when I got out of bed this morning...A bit like I was "~~~drugged~~~". I spent a while on the computer and then as I was to go help a friend decorate for a baby shower, I started getting ready. The strange feeling while brushing my hair was back again, and as I stood in front of the mirror I had to concentrate on focusing my eyes to keep from feeling dizzy.

I finally got myself ready and when I arrived at my friends house, (yes, I drove...but carefully and without any problem at all), she had made an early lunch for us. I was~~~ STARVING~~~. It was like I hadn't eaten in days when in reality I HAD eaten breakfast. Being that hungry scares me as I have gained over 40 lbs. while on Effexor so I was hoping my appetite would decrease not increase! (Maybe it still will...) After we ate lunch we drove over to her church where we were to do the decorating. I had to really concentrate on every little thing I did while we were setting up tables and placing the decorations...I don't know quite how to explain what that's like. I felt like I was in a "daze," although I was able to speak and act in a normal functional manner. If you have ever experimented with, (heaven forbid), "illegal" drugs in your youth...I would have to liken this "dazed" feeling I have, to the "coming down" feeling one might feel from speed, uppers or other amphetamines if you are familiar with those drugs.... If not...you will soon see what I mean if you are embarking on a journey similar to this yourself.

I had two short bouts where I began to feel bit nauseous this afternoon too. On both occasions as I felt the "wave" come over me, I concentrated on breathing slowly, sipped some water, and told myself I was not going to go there:-) (I guess I heard myself too as I was able to will it away in both instances!) Whew...Nothing I hate more than throwing up!

Tonight I really started feeling the brain zaps...They almost feel and sound like there's a mosquito that buzzes intermittently inside your head. These zaps are actually a bit different than the zaps I felt when I first started taking Effexor. I won't say milder ...just different. I will have to think about how to describe them....But that will take concentration...And I am too tired to concentrate that intensely any longer tonight...

I guess I'd have to say that the worst part for me today was the unexplained bouts of crying (I did a bit of it before I left the house this morning and then had another short bout when I came home this afternoon). Maybe it's because this whole withdrawal process is taking every bit of my being to negotiate. During the moments preceding the tears I start to feel like I don't want to go through with this...That it's too much... But then I know I have to. Maybe a good night's sleep will help.... And maybe...

"It will be all better in the morning" :-)

beach-lover@verizon.net
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